She's So Tired

Image from Tumblr

She's so tired and she tries her best not to say anything.

Everyday, she gets up and faces another morning. Before, she treated every sunrise like an adventure--one filled with surprises and stories worth sharing. They held countless promises and she looked forward to all of them. The following hours had so much in store for her; it would be a sin to miss even one.

Tomorrow was another day and she couldn't wait for it to come. Once she closed her eyes, she dreamt of what it would bring. What will she write about? Which way will life lead her again? Should she get lost to experience cheap thrills?

She placed her faith in the Morning. Now, she isn't so sure anymore.

As the months progress, she found herself losing the joy she once held. Her pen, the source of her talent and delight, slowly began to fail her. Strings of words came as usual, but they did not deliver the results she hoped. Eventually, she found out that they never did.

Sure, the new months came with surprises. Her honesty would reveal that she has never been happier and sometimes, she wished the sun never set. But if she would re-evaluate, the blunt truth is pretty obvious: she's stuck.

Most days, she wishes that there was more to life than this. The uncertainty of all things scares the daylights out of her: will I forever stay like this? What's next for us? Will it end sooner than I think? Will my words always be supressed by the need to survive? The questions are endless and sometimes, she hopes they stop. But they don't.

He tells her to keep her chin up. You're better than you think, he says, Give it some time. He goes on about why she should stay, how she can stay. Over cups of home delights, he persuades her to think it over, but he knows he'll never win. Because he knew that she knew she was fed up with it.

She considers his words carefully. He wasn't the only one with sound advice--others too. Their tunes varied but she sensed one line: give it some time. 

How long should she wait before she reconnects with her passion? Her pen has been her best friend but the recent circumstances are ruining the beautiful love affair. She feels lost, controlled. She is nothing but a robot--more mechanic, less passion. It's sad because she wasn't like this before.

Now, she is.

A perpetually happy person does not write about depressing sentiments. But here she is, scribbling down her frustrations. The year is coming to an end; she couldn't be happier. It was amazing and she couldn't ask for more but the sad goodbye between her and the passion she held close struck her hard. It bid adieu while she was still in love--now, she finds herself wanting it back.

Unfortunately, searching for it meant leaving. And if she were completely honest, she knows she couldn't. Not today, not tomorrow--not in the soonest, at least.

So, she remains in a struggle or a dirty haze of what-ifs? and just do its'. As she gazes at the flashing lights of the holidays, she can only hope. The Good Lord bestowed upon every human being that simple gift: hope. She clings tightly to it.

She's so tired. Weary and unhappy. But she knows she'll be all right.

We will be.

The 3 Guys You Love But Can Never Have

Dear Ashley,

Can you possibly write about loving or longing for someone (secretly and silently) whom you can never be with?

***

-

Sometimes, you wish everything was simple. Easier, even. Boy meets girl; boy likes girl; girl likes boy back; boy and girl fall in love; and boy and girl live happily ever after. 

Unfortunately, this is real life.

-

The first guy might have been the one you've known since forever. He's nice, friendly, and you love his presence. Being around him is easy as breathing--and that's because you're at ease with him. It's difficult not to smile when he cracks a joke or feel flattered when he pays a compliment. How can you when he makes it so hard?

You + him makes so much sense--if only he saw you more than just a friend.

Knowing how he sees you stings. While you see him in a different light, he looks at you and sees a friend or a sister. It's funny--you like him because he's such a good friend and here he is, liking you as 'just a friend.' 

The realization doesn't hurt as much as you think. Sometimes, you wish you can tell him but then you choose not to. Why ruin a good relationship?  Will it be worth it? So, you brush your feelings aside and enjoy the friendship that you have.

You know you can't have him because he doesn't see you that way, but it's okay. Honestly, it is.

-

You meet the second guy and he fits the one in your dreams. He's unlike any other--charming and mysterious at the same time. The current proximity bring you closer and slowly, you find yourself drawn to him. On some occasions, you think he might be drawn to you, as well.

He's nice guy, you're a nice girl. When he laughs, the rest of the world follows the suit. His smile is enough to brighten up an unfortunate day. Being with him feels just right.

Except, you two are opposing poles--too different from one another. He says yes but you say no; he thinks this, you think otherwise. Everyday, you convince yourself that maybe both of you can work it out. But the future speaks volumes and sometime soon, good things will end. 

You can never have him because you're too different. It is painful but deep inside, you know it's for the best.

-

The third one seems like the perfect fit. Unlike the first two, he holds more promises: he shares the same ideals and you're definitely not 'just a friend.' 

It's hard not to fall for him. He likes you and you like him as well. Apart from the similarities, he makes you smile without trying. In fact, he's the shoulder you'd want to cry on.  A future with him looks promising and you can't wait for it to come.

Except, will it ever come?

With him, you wish you can jump right in immediately. But the timing isn't right. You know that if you go into it now, things are bound to go crazy. He arrived too soon and probably at the wrong place.

Sometimes, you see yourself waiting for him. He might be waiting for you, as well. But there's this nagging feeling that the right time will never come. Because you know it yourself: he's not the one for you.

They say: "Chase your happiness! What have you got to lose?" You are tempted, but happiness is fleeting. If you act upon impulse, you will be delighted but sometime soon, you might regret. Because you didn't wait...you rushed into it.

You can't have him and the pain becomes less than tolerable.

-

Lost loves are unbearable. At times, you regret letting them go. You wish you held on, said something, or at least expressed what you felt. Can you reverse time? 

As you hold your broken heart, thoughts haunt your mind. The idea of finding someone better seems like a joke. You will never see him--that one you want. You'll be alone and you might miss a lot. Hope continues to dwindle as the days go by.

But life is funny and so is God. When you least expect it, he finally arrives.

-

The fourth appears out of nowhere. He might be someone you've known for long or a guy you just met. Initially, the idea of being with him might seem ridiculous or it makes sense, but you don't address it. You were too busy nursing wounds from a broken a heart.

But God prods through His Word and you find yourself face to face with the man made for you. There are uncertainties, yes, but the situation turns out positive for the both of you.

He is not perfect; in fact, he is less than perfect. He makes mistakes and he makes you cry. However, he is the one meant to hold your hand when you feel alone. His arms fit your shoulders perfectly and his eyes see no one else but you. He delights in your love for the One above and he shares your passion in serving Him. He is not after your beauty--he looks at the heart and prioritizes your worth above anything else.

The fourth arrives at the right place at the right time. With him, everything works according to plan. Sure, there are bumps along the way but eventually, you guys end up in each other's arms. It seems crazy but you know he's the one simply because he is. 

-

The first three guys you loved were equally special in their own right. Each had his personal quirk, which is why you held him close to your heart. It's just that none of them were the ONE.

Someday, the fourth one will come. You just have to wait or maybe look around. He'll be there. Just you wait. :)

***image from Tumblr

Dear Self: You are NOT Pretty

Previously published by Thought Catalog at www.thoughtcatalog.com.

Sketch from Tumblr

Dear Self,

You are NOT pretty.

You might think you are but you're wrong. You see yourself in the mirror and consider yourself okay, but the unfortunate truth is: you will always fall short.

Do you have long legs meant for the runway? How about eyes capable of drowning a man's soul? Do your cheeks blush enough to capture smiles?

If no, then you certainly are not pretty.

It's hard to admit but you have a difficult time looking at other girls. With their red lipstick and seductive curls, your plain Jane doesn't stand a chance. Their appearances demand the respect and admiration from others, which you feel you can never do. Everyone loves them and sometimes, you notice how they bask in the attention of others.

Every day, you compare yourself to them. These girls can make heads turn and hearts fall for them. Tell me, when was the last time a guy looked you in the eye twice as long? Did anyone ever tell you how pretty you looked? And I'm not talking about your dad or your brother.

No? There you have it.

You try so hard to be like those girls. You put rouge on your cheeks and plump your lips. You style your hair in all sorts of ways: up, down, left, and right. You shun the idea of another bite; there's no point in gaining an extra pound.

Trying is all you ever did. You want others to notice you, to tell you that you are pretty indeed. You exert all of your efforts to be pretty. To be honest, it's very exhausting. But at the end of the day, you will never be like them.

Self, it's about time you face the facts: you are not one of those girls. You're not pretty. Why?

Because you are BEAUTIFUL. You might not believe it, but you are. Let me explain.

You're not pretty because you're more than that. You're a beautiful girl who fails to see the potential she's got. Maybe this happens because you keep subjecting yourself to the world's standard of beauty. In reality, the world's standard is too high and if you continuously compare yourself, you will never see the gorgeous woman inside.

Know this: you were made in the image of the One who created the heavens and the earth. Isn't that amazing? God created you in His very image. Don't take that literally (meaning, you look like a man). But His hands crafted your face and your body, therefore, you are an exquisite work of art.

In God's opinion, you are insanely gorgeous. Since He made the universe (and basically everything else), doesn't that matter more than human approval?

It's frustrating when others don't notice. I know, it hurts when people brush you off. Still,  their opinion does not determine your worth. Just because they think other girls are prettier than you, that doesn't mean you're less than beautiful.

Every girl is different and that's what makes you special. Sure, you've got dashes of zits  or you experience difficulty fitting in your pants, but that's what makes you who you are. Can you imagine if every girl looked the same? You wouldn't stand out--you're just like everyone else.

Still not convinced? Let me tell you a secret: a girl is beautiful when she knows it herself. No, I'm not talking about bragging her looks She is beautiful when she is confident in her own skin. A gorgeous woman also embraces her imperfections. Who cares if you've got small eyes or wide hips? These are proudly yours--own it!

When others see how much you love yourself, they will love you for you. No amount of make-up or skimpy dresses can compare to the natural beauty that lies inside. Appreciate what the good Lord gave you and it will radiate from within.

I know that after this you'll struggle believing in yourself. But I just want you to know that I believe in you. At times, you'll fall for the world's standards again; you'll be jealous of those girls once more. When you feel like it, just remember that you are different and so are they. You possess inner beauty that no one can take away from you.

So self, give yourself some credit. It doesn't hurt to put blush or lipstick, but relying on these too much is not the solution. You're not just pretty--you are a beautiful human being, inside and out. I hope you remember this every day because you are.

Trust me, you are. 

Yours truly,

Yourself

Wag Ma-Attach: Nakamamatay (ng Feelings)

Realtalk 2
*Usapang masinsinan tungkol sa iba't-ibang isyu sa buhay, pag-ibig at iba pa.
*Bago mo isipin na "Hay, eto nanaman po si teh, love life nanaman, basahin mo muna.
May love life yan pero meron ding ibang isyu. Wag kang mapanghusga. Pwe.
*Dedicated sa mga friends na ginusto maging anonymous kasi...well...trip.

Attachment--sa kontekstong ito, hindi ito yung Word File o image na ipapadala mo sa GMail o Yahoo! Mail. Hindi rin ito yung tape o kaya fastener na ginagamit mo para di maghiwalay yung mga papel mo para sa trabaho o eskwela (teka,  may gumagamit pa ba ng fastener?).*

Sa usapang natin ngayon, ang attachment na tinutukoy ko ay may kinalaman sa akin, sa iyo at mga tao sa ating paligid.

Attachment, Attachment...Sino Ka Ba?

Ayon sa Internet, ang attachment ay "...an affectional tie that one person or animal forms between himself and another specific one – a tie that binds them together in space and endures over time." Ito ay hindi lang kuneksyon sa pagitan ng dalawang tao; ito ay deep regard o loyalty sa isang kaibigan, kasintahan o kaya crush.

Kapag na-attach ka sa isang tao, gusto mo sila ang madalas mong kasama. Kapag nawala sila ng isang araw, isang linggo o kaya isang segundo, pakiramdam mo na parang may kulang. May nawawala.

Wala namang masama sa emotional attachment. Lahat naman tayo nakakaranas nito sa kapamilya, kapatid, kapuso, at kahit sa mga alagang hayop. Nagiging masama lang siya kapag apektado na niya ang buong pagkatao mo--

Kapag sobra kang na-attach.

Anong Kapalaran ng Taong Sobrang Attached?

Dalawa lang naman ang kapalaran ng tao: mabuti o masama.

Kapag na-attach ka sa isang tao (kaibigan man o crush mo) at gumana naman ayon sa gusto mo, congrats! Kung nasusuklian ang mga emosyon na inilantad mo, ika'y matuwa sapagkat ikaw ay pinagpala. Nag akyat na ba ng ligaw si kuyang matagal mo nang inaalay (o pinagpepray) kay Lord? Hallejuiah at tayo't mag-saya, teh!

Pero kung ikaw ay madalas ma-attach at masaktan, welcome to the Black Parade.

Sa konteksto ng pag-ibig, kung ikaw ay masyadong nadikit sa isang tao at di naman niya binalik ang pagmamahal mo--aray ko na lang 'beh. As always, ikaw ang sawi sa inyong one-sided love affair. Akala mo gagana sa kanya yung araw-araw mong pagdadala ng sopas, pero di naman pala. Hindi rin umepekto pala yung batting of the eyelashes o kaya yung pag flex ng muscles mo araw-araw.

Sa grupo ng mga kaibigan, kung masyado kang na-attach sa isa at nakahanap siya ng ibang best friend, masakit din. Akala mo ikaw ang sagot sa mga friendship needs niya, yun pala hindi. Nakakalungkot man isipin pero may ganoon talaga. Para sa iyo, ikaw yung ideal best friend niya, pero para sa kanya, friend ka lang talaga.

Minsan iisipin mo: "Ganon ba talaga ako kadaling ma-brush off? Yun lang ba ang halaga ko?" Malulungkot ka lang at baka umabot pa sa punto na hindi ka na naka-fetal position ka sa kama, umiiyak ng walang sawa (OA, pero why not?).

Bakit Dapat I-restrain ang Sarili?

Hindi ka nag-iisa sa iyong problema. Weakness ko rin yan; masyado ko kasi iniisip ang iba. Sa sobrang concerned ko, handa akong ibuhos lahat para sa isang tao nang hindi na naalala ang sarili. Martyr nga, kung tatawagin (Ew, parang soap opera lang).

Pero dapat lagi nating tandaan na hindi umiikot ang mundo natin sa mga kaibigan o sa ibang tao. Kumbaga, there is more to life than that. Minsan, sa sobrang attached mo, pakiramdam mo guguho na yung mundo mo kapag hindi na-meet ang expectations mo.

Hindi mo naman mapipigilan na hindi ka magustuhan ng tao o kaya di nila masuklian ang atensyon na ibinibigay mo. Aminin na natin, hindi naman nila kasalanan lahat. Oo, may mga nagawa sila na nakapagpaasa satin, pero tayo mismo ang namiling buhusan sila ng emosyon. Di naman natin kasi kailangan ubusin ang pagkatao natin sa kanila.

Kalma lang tayo. Wala namang masama sa pagiging mapagaruga, pero kung masyado kang nag-expect at nagbigay, malamang madidisappoint ka lang. Iisipin mo na wala ka sigurong kwenta, na sinayang lang ng tao na yon ang pagmamahal mo. Magiging bitter ka lang, maiinis ka at kung anu-ano pa iisipin ng utak mo.

Dapat Na Ba Tumigil sa Pagmamahal? (Naks)

Hindi ko sinasabi na dapat tumigil ka na sa pagiging concerned sa ibang tao. Sa katunayan, tinawag tayo ni Lord na magmahal sa mga tao, kaibigan man o kaaway. Ang sinasabi ko lang ay iwasan nating magmahal ng SOBRA SOBRA. Di ba, sabi nga naman, kahit anong kulang o sobra ay nakasasama sa atin.

Kung magbibigay ka ng ganoong kalaking concern sa isang tao, wag kang mag-expect na ibabalik niya yon. Sabi nga naman, unconditional love for friends or others does not wait for rewards. Wag umasa ng kapalit. Kung aasa ka, edi wag ka na lang masyadong magbigay ng pakialam. Kasi sa huli, ikaw rin ang masasaktan.

Sa usapang pagiging magkaibigan, kung hindi ikaw ang best friend material ng inaasahang best friend mo, let it go. Hindi mo hawak ang puso ng kaibigan mo. Pasalamat ka na lang na at least, friends pa din kayo. Blessing na dapat sa iyo yun tsaka isipin mo na lang, marami pang ibang kaibigan na nangangailangan ng pagmamahal mo.

Sa kaso ko, kay Lord na lang ako sobrang na-aattach. Sasabihin ng iba: "Yak! Ang korni! Ew! Kill, kill, kill!" pero sa akin, sa Kanya lang ako makakahanap ng forever. ;) Minsan, nakakalimutan ko na may limitasyon ang mga tao at nasasaktan ako. Kaya dun na lang ako sa hindi ako sa hindi nang-iiwan at never nang-iwan magpakailanman.

Pero di ibig sabihin non wala na akong pakialam. Mahal ko pa rin ang tao pero tinuturuan ko sarili ko na mag-chill. Hehe :)

Masarap ang magmahal ng mga tao pero laging tandaan, kahit ano mang sobra ay nakakasama para sa atin. Kung kaya't kalma lang, love in moderation at mahalin mo rin ang sarili mo. You deserve it, friend. Trust me ;)


*sabi ng kaopisina kong si Ate Jean, may gumagamit pa daw ng fastener. 
* Umaasa ka ba sa isang tao? Punta ka dito. Eh may napaasa ka ba nang di sinasadya? Basahin mo ang Modern Filipina article ko, humingi ng tawad at makonsensya ng todo. 

Sa Swing Set

Mga Alaala
*mga kaartehan, kadramahan, alaala at kung anu-ano pa. 
*pwedeng base sa tunay na buhay, madalas hindi. Pero pwede pa din. 

Sa swing set tayo unang nagkita. Nagkakilala. Nagkausap.

Naalala ko pa yung unang pag-ngiti mo sa akin habang naka-upo ako sa swing. Patuloy ako sa pag-tulak sa aking sarili habang hawak yung chain. Lumapit ka, ngumiti at nagpakilala.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ka naman remarkable sa una nating pagkikita, maliban na lang siguro sa ngiti mo. Matangkad, moreno at mukhang mabait. Isama na natin yung pagiging friendly mo. Ang dami mong tinanong.

"Ilang taon ka na?"

"Saan ka nag-aaral? Anong year ka na?"

"Nag-eenjoy ka ba?"

Ang dami ko rin namang sinagot.

"19 lang naman."

"Sa may UP, medyo graduating na."

"Oo, nag-eenjoy naman ako."

Hindi lang naman tayong dalawa ang nasa eksenang iyan. May kasama ka, may mga kasama ako. Nasa swing set kami, nasa see-saw kayo. Nakakatuwa nga kayo panoorin ng kaibigan mo--sinubukan niyo pa mag-balance sa see-saw pero di nagtagal. Patuloy ka pa rin sa pagkwento at pagtatanong sa amin, lalo na sa akin.

Siguro kasi, halos pareho tayo ng edad at halos ako rin yung pinakamadaldal, tulad mo.

Di nagtagal, umalis rin kayo ng kasama mo. Pero bago pa man kayo nagpaalam, sinabi mo sa amin na sana magkita-kita tayo ulit. Sabay ngiti. Nginitian ka rin namin at umalis ka na. Sa oras na yon, hindi ka pa rin tumatak ng gaano sa isip ko. Pero pa-konti konti, naaalala ko ngiti mo.

Hanggang sa nakita na lang kita kumanta sa entablado. Narinig ko boses mo, umaawit ng buong-buo. Saka ko nalaman kung sino ka ba talaga, ano ang posisyon mo at kung bakit maraming nakakakilala sa iyo. Nalaman ko na hindi ka basta-basta.

Saka bumalik yung alaala ko sa swing set. Kung paano ka ngumiti, paano mo kami kinausap, paanong hindi mo pinaramdam na may iba. Bigla kong naisip ang kababaan ng iyong loob. At doon ka ganap na tumatak sa isipan ko.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko: "Grabe Lord, may ganon pa palang lalaki sa mundo."  Sabay kilig na madaliang itinago.

Isang araw matapos ang ating unang pagkikita, oras na para magpaalam sa mahabang panahon. Hindi ko alam kung kailan kita ulit makikita o makakausap. Ginusto kong makausap ka ulit, pero nahiya ako. Ano naman ang sasabihin ko sa'yo? Ano paguusapan?

Nagkaroon ng pagkakataon -- o excuse -- para makalapit ulit sa iyo. At nang nakamit ang maliit na pangarap, ngumiti ka muli at nagpasalamat. Di ko malilimutan yung ngiti mong iyon, punong-puno ng galak na abot tainga pa.

Saka tayo namaalam sa isa't-isa at hindi nagkita ng matagal.

Pero kahit hindi kita nakita, matagal ka ring naglagi sa isip ko. Siguro, bihira kasi yung mga katulad mo--mahal na mahal si Lord, mabait, mapagkumbaba at masayahin. Nakakatawa kasi di naman kita gaano kakilala sa personal, pero sa aking mga naririnig at nakikita sa iyong pader, parang kilala na rin kita.

Tapos, nagkita tayo ulit.

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko nang malaman kong nasa malapit ka lang. Magkikita na tayo ulit; makakausap nanaman kita. Naisip ko na lang: "Maalala niya kaya ako? Yung babaeng nasa swing set? Yung huling paalam niya?" Di ko man inamin, pero nasabik ako sa iyo.

Ngunit kahit nasa iisang lugar tayo, hindi tayo nag-usap. Nahiya kasi ako. Kahit alam kong isang agwat na lang, magkikita na tayo, inunahan ako ng hiya. Kaya ayun, hindi tayo nag-usap. Nakita lang kita, nakita mo lang ako.

Bago ka umalis, naramdaman kong nakatingin ka sa direksyon ko. Pakiramdam ko lang naman, pero naisip ko na nakatitig ka sa kung saan ako nakaupo. Nagkunwari akong hindi kita napansin, pero sa totoo lang, napansin kita. Siguro, kaya ka napatingin kasi nakilala mo ako. Pero ako, bilang dakilang mahiyain, walang ginawa at hinayaang kang umalis.

Haist.

Missed chance nanaman. Akala ko, hindi na talaga tayo magkikita. Di ko man lang nasilayan yung ngiti mo. Wala. Nahiya ako.

Pero akalain mo nga naman ang tadhana...pinagkita tayo ulit ngayon.

Nakakatawa pa na nalaman kong nandiyan ka nanaman habang nananalangin sila. Pinagdasal ka nila at nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko. Pupunta siya? Nandito nanaman siya? Heto nanaman po kami! Sabay hawak sa dibdib.

At ayun, nasilayan nanaman kita. Ganon ka pa rin, medyo tumaba, pero suot-suot parin ang ngiting iyong-iyo. Nauna nanaman ang pagkamahiyain ko--simpleng Hi at Hello, hirap na hirap na ako. Hay, bakit nga ba ganoon?

Pero nang nagkalapit tayo, nagtagpo ang ating mga mata. Sabay ngumiti ka muli at pati na rin ako.

"Hi,"

"Hello,"

Sabay alis.

Maigsi lang siya at walang masyadong ganap. Pero sa totoo lang, masaya na rin. Hindi naman ako seryoso, pero isa kang masarap na inspirasyon. Isa kang pag-asa na nagpapaalala sa akin na mayroon pa ring mga katulad mo--bihira pero meron pa rin.

Pinanood kita at napangiti nang madalas. Hindi ko alam kung kelan ulit tayo magkikita o kung may makikilala ako na katulad mo. Pero hiling ko na lang kay Lord siguro na kung dumating man ang tamang panahon, sana palangiti, mapagmahal at masiyahin rin ang susunod na magtutulak sa akin sa swing.

Ang Statistical Probability na Paasa Siya (at Umaasa Ka Naman)

Realtalk 1
*Usapang masinsinan tungkol sa iba't-ibang isyu sa buhay, pag-ibig at iba pa.
*Kung estudyante ka, okey lang basahin. Pero utang na loob, mag-aral ka muna. Unahin ang edukasyon. Gusto ni Lord na mag-aral ka muna at pasayahin ang mga magulang bago ka mag-love life. Tandaan, hintayin ang TAMANG PANAHON.
*Puro opinyon ko lang ito, so wag ka mapikon. Chill ka lang, bruh.
*walang statistics na nakasaad dito. Ginamit ko lang ang salita kasi masarap pakinggan.
*Enjoy!

Aminin mo na: masakit ang umasa sa wala.

Yung tipong nagplano kayo ng hiking ng mga ka-tropa mo, isang buwan bago yung mismong araw. Naghanda ka na at lahat, nag-gym ka para handa ang katawan mo sa pag-akyat ng bundok. Praktisado mo na rin ang kebs na shrug mo pag sinabihan ka nila ng: "Wow! Galing mo naman mag hike. Expert!"

Pero pagdating ng araw na yon, malalaman mo na hindi tuloy ang lakad. Walang hiking. Walang barkada trip. Walang kebs na shrug. 

Wala.

Pagdating sa usapang pag-ibig, pag nauwi sa wala ang lahat...minsan, hindi mo na alam kung saan pupulutin ang natapakan mong emosyon.

Kasi pinaasa ka lang sa wala.

Ang Usapang #Hugot at #Paasa

Sa Pilipinas, uso ngayon ang #hugot o mga sentimyento na kadalasan ay naiuugnay sa kasawian sa pag-ibig. Halos lahat may hugot na, lalo na pag naulan. Isang halimbawa ay:

"Sa panahon ngayon, tanghali na lang ang tapat."

Di naman natin masisisi ang mga taong mahilig humugot. Masarap umibig at masarap rin isipin na yung taong gusto mo ay baka may gusto rin sayo. Hindi mo mapigilan ang sarili mo na mangarap na makasama si Bebe Girl o Bebe Boy hanggang sa dulo ng walang hanggang. Lalo na kung may pagpaparamdam na nagaganap.

Anong klaseng pagpaparamdam?

Yung tipong kung magsalita siya, parang double meaning. Ano kaya ibig niyang sabihin nung sinabi niya na: "You're special to me"? Wala ka namang ADHD, so malamang hindi yon ang ibig sabihin. Paano naman pag hilig ka niyang lambingin? Yung tipong lagi kang kinikindatan o kaya lagi kang tinetext ng: "Kumain ka na ba?" o "Matulog ka na ah. Wag ka magpapagod." 

Paano kung lagi ka niyang hinahatid sa bahay o kaya binabaunan ng pagkain? Lagi kang kausap sa Facebook, Twitter o ni-lalike ang mga post mo sa Instagram. Pag-ibig na nga ba? Kayo na ba ang susunod na #KimErald o #AlDub?

Pero paano kung yung pagpaparamdam na yon ay wala lang pala para sa kanya?

Boom. Napaasa ka.

Bakit Ba Maraming Na-Hohopia (a.k.a False Hope)

Bakit nga ba maraming puso ang naloloko ng pag-asa? Bakit ba marami ang napapaiyak dahil na-hopia sila ng taong minamahal nila?

Minsan, nalilinlang na tayo ng puso natin at di pa natin alam.

Kapag ang taong gusto natin ay may ginawang kakaiba, hilig nating isipan ng meaning yung nangyari. Madalas, nagsisimula lang yan sa isang text o kaya private message sa Facebook. Simpleng 'Hi! Musta ka?' ang nagdudulot ng maraming kasawian sa mundo.

Sa nakikita ko,  isa lang ang dahilan kung bakit may nahohopia: maling akala (a.k.a assume-assume)

Marami sa atin akala mo nag-aral sa Assumption dahil sa sobrang daming pag-aassume na nagaganap. Nabigyan lang ng tatlong piraso ng Mentos, akala mo nag-I Love You na yung crush mo sa'yo. O kaya naman nakatext mo siya ng dose oras at puro knock-knock jokes lang naman yung exchanges niyo, pero feeling mo iba na talaga kayong dalawa.

Hayskul palang ako nang nauso yang assumera/assumero trend na yan. Pano ba naman, isa din ako sa mga ganyan. Maliit na bagay lang, binibigyan ko ng mas malalim na kahulugan. Naka-chat ko lang ng araw-araw, akala ko may forever na.

Yun pala wala.

Pero naiintindihan ko rin kung bakit marami sa atin ang mabigat ang pag-aassume. Minsan nga naman kasi, hindi na normal yung ginagawa nung crush/iniibig/apple of the eye natin. Mas malala lalo na kung tipong first time mo at wala kang kamalay-malay.

Yung pag-aassume sa wala, may kaakibat na mga mabibigat na kapalit yan...kadalasan, masakit ang magiging katapusan. Masakit kasi nag-invest ka ng emosyon sa isang tao na akala mo may pagtingin sa'yo, pero wala pala. Nagbuhos ka ng oras, pera at sarili mo para sa kanya, pero sa huli, hindi rin pala masusuklian ang investments mo.

Aray ko 'beh.

Paalala Para sa Mga Sawi at Maari Pang Masawi (at Pati na Rin sa Dahilan ng Pagkasawi)

Paano nga ba makakaiwas sa mga paasa/umaasa segement ng buhay?

Ganito lang yan mga kababayan: hangga't walang sinasabing direchong "GUSTO KITA" o kaya "I LIKE YOU," iwasang mag-overdrive ang utak. In other words, iwasan maging assumera o assumero. Kahit ba sabihin mo may feels o paramdam na nagaganap, wag mong punuin ang utak mo tungkol sa forever kung di pa naman sigurado.

Baka sabihin mo: "Eh hina-hug hug niya ako! Sinusunod at hinahatid pauwi! Nililibre ng isaw tuwing hapon! How can this not be love?!"

Oo, alam ko. Mahirap hindi isipin na wala siyang feelings kung puro ganyan ginagawa niya. Pero isipin mo, may posibilidad na para sa kanya, baka wala lang yon. Kung meron man, siguro as friends. Maniwala ka pag sinabi kong may ganon talaga. Kung para sayo meron, para sa kanya eh nagiging mabait lang naman siya o sadyang malambing lang talaga siya.

Subukan mong wag i-over read lahat ng nangyayari sa inyo. Hangga't di mo marinig na umamin siya sa'yo o kaya siya na mismo magpatunay na meron, wag kang aasa.

Mahirap na umasa sa wala.

Ngayon, gusto ko naman kausapin yung mga paasa (intentional o unintentional ka man).

Lahat ng paasa/umaasa na sitwasyon ay nagaganap dahil sa hindi pag-iingat sa mga sinasabi o nagagawa. Sabihin na natin malambing ka talaga o mahilig ka lang talaga mag hatid kahit bumabaha, minsan kailangan mo isipin na dapat malinaw ang intensyon mo--lalo na yung mga lalaki.

Mga tol at mga pare, ingat-ingat din naman kasi. Di ko naman kayo sinisisi ng buo, pero alalahanin niyo na kaming mga babae, madaling madevelop lalo na pag natarget ang emosyon. Oo, masyado kaming emosyonal. Kahit ba sa tingin niyo di namin kayo trip o mukha kayong chonggo, kapag napakilig niyo kami, nag-iibang anyo kayo. Nagiging Prince Charming kayo sa mga mata namin.

Kung pwede lang, linawin niyo naman kung ano ba talaga kami para sa inyo. Kung friends lang talaga, aba, tratuhin niyo naman kami as friends. Sa tingin ko, hindi lang friends ang tawag kapag lagi kang nagsasabi ng "I love you" o laging siya lang yung binibigyan mo ng Hany Chocolate o kaya trip mo lang siyang binubuhat out of nowhere.

Kung trip mo talaga si ate, wag ka na magpaliguy-ligoy pa. Pag-pray mo (seryoso ako) tapos mag-akyat ka na ng ligaw. Sabihin mo ang nararamdaman mo. Hindi yung pahuhulaan mo o paramdam-ramdam lang gagawin mo dun sa babae. Hindi kami manghuhula, huy.

Para naman sa mga ateng nagpaasa, wala rin kayong takas. Minsan kasi, tayo din hindi natin nababantayan yung mga pinag-gagagawa natin. Akala mo yung payakap-yakap sa lalaking kaibigan mo ay wala lang--pero sa kanya, iba na pala yon. Lalo na kung lagi mo pang ginagawa at mas malala pa kung gusto ka niya.

Aminin na natin, nakakakilig rin naman pag nalaman natin na may gusto sa atin ang isa sa mga kakilala o kaibigan natin (kahit di natin sila type). Nakakatuksong lalong hayaan sila na kiligin at maramdaman iyon, kahit na alam mo na wala siyang pag-asa. Pero, maawa ka naman sa kanya. Pinaglalaruan mo ang emosyon niya at hindi nakabubuti yon.

Maging maingat sa mga sasabihin at kilos mo, nang mabawasan na ang mga nahohopiang lalaki sa mundo.

Makakabuti sa mundo at sa maraming puso kung mababawasan na ang mga napapaasa. Ako mismo ay napaasa at nahirapan akong makabangon mula sa sakit na naramdaman. Ayoko na maulit yon, at ayoko rin na may ibang masaktan. :)

Kaya mag-ingat tayong lahat sa paasa/umaasa segments. Gustuhin mo man madaliin ang forever, minsan ay dapat kumalma tayong lahat. Masarap ang pag-ibig at masarap ang inspirasyon. Pero tulad nga ng sabi ni Lola Nidora, dapat lahat ay nangyayari sa tamang panahon.

Kaya chill ka lang. Darating din yan. :)

#tiwalakayLord #tamangpanahon #SayNoToHopia2k15

Mga Piling Kwento ng Isang Pasahero ng UV Express

UV Express - ang numero unong transportasyon ng mga manggagawang Pilipino tanggap na magbayad ng halos P60.00 na pamasahe; malamang patungo sila ng Ayala, Pasig, SM Megamall o kaya ng Quiapo; depende kung saan sila araw-araw nagpapakahirap.

Nang nagsimula ako magtrabaho sa Makati, ang UV Express na ang naging school bus ko sa pang araw-araw. Hindi na bago sakin yung eksena ng pila papunta at pag-uwi; sa totoo lang, yun nga yung senyas na magsisimula o matatapos na ang araw ko. 

Para sa ibang tao, wala namang nangyayaring espesyal sa loob ng UV. Magbabayad lang sila kay Manong Konduktor, papasok tapos sabay tulog. Kung di man sila matutulog, malamang magrorosaryo, makikinig sa kanta o kaya tutulala na lang sa may bintana. 

Para sakin, ang pagsakay sa UV ay isang mini-adventure. Mababaw, pero sa totoo lang, marami talaga ang nangyayari sa loob. Yun nga lang sa pagpili mo sang upuan ka sasakay, may kwento na yun (mas trip ko sa tabi ng driver o kaya sa kung saan mang di tatamaan ng araw). O kaya yung simpleng pag-lingon sa katabi mo, malamang may makukuha kang naratibo.

Ako kasi meron. Medyo marami sila, pero heto ang mga tumatak sa kukote ng utak ko.

May Kulo si Misis, Mukhang Manyak si Mister

Sa may pila ng UV sa Dela Rosa, may mag-asawang nagtatalo sa harapan ko. Di na naman bago sakin pag may mag-asawa o mag-jowang di nagkakasundo sa pila--pakiramdam ko nga mas trip nilang magtalo dun kasi maraming tao;di pwede gumawa ng malalang eksena ang isa sa kanila.

Nang nakapila ako, patuloy sa pagtatalo itong mag-asawa. Pabulong na sumisigaw si Misis (posible pala iyon) habang tahimik na umaangal si Mister.

Misis: #$%^&! Lagi ka na lang nawawala pag gabi! Wala na ngang gatas si Junior, lakwatsa ka pa ng lakwatsa!

Mister: (bulong, bulong. Malamang depensa sa sarili)

Misis:  Eh %^&* ka pala eh! Lakas ng loob mong mawala pag gabi tapos kung maka-angal ka parang api!

Mister: (bulong, bulong) ...di naman masyadong nainom...(bulong, bulong)

Habang na sa pila, abot langit ang panalangin ko na di ko makasabay ang mag-asawang to. Pero ang tadhana nga naman, mapait. Naging magkatapat kami sa loob ng UV. Nang makapasok at nakaupo na ang lahat, biglang nanahimik ang babae. Siguro, naisip niya kasi na di siya pwede tumalak ng tumalak sa UV kasi maririnig ang mga angal niya. Tinalikuran niya ang kanyang asawa--deadma.

Malas na lang niya kasi napansin din to ng mister niya.

Syempre, ikaw ba naman, inaway-away ka sa pila, di ka ba matutuksong gantihan ang misis mong talakera? Yun nga ang ginawa ni Mister. Nakangisi pa siya habang tinatanong ang asawa niya;

"O ano, ba't bigla kang tumahimik? Ano? Wala ka ng masabi?"

Ang nakakatakot sa eksena na ito ay yung mukha nung Mister habang inaasar ang kanyang may bahay. Mukha siyang manyak, yung tipong kontrabidang may balak na masama sa lahat. Ramdam ko yung pagtitig ng katabi ko sa kanila; malamang napansin niya din.

Akala ko talaga may mangyayaring sabunutan o saksakan sa loob ng UV. Buti na lang, bumaba sila ng maaga. Hay salamat Panginoon sa grasya at kaligtasan nga naman.

Si Tita, ang Kanyang Rosaryo at ang Scripted na Panalangin

Di na bago sa akin ang makatabi sa isang taong nagrorosaryo habang bumabiyahe patungong Ayala. Madalas, ang mga ganitong nakakatabi ko ay mga Tita-type, kung tawagin ng nakararami. Halos pareho ang kanilang mga eksena: uupo sa tabi, dudukutin ang lalagyan ng rosaryo (madalas may palamuti at mukhang mamahalin), kukunin ang rosaryo at magsisimulang manalangin.

May nakatabi akong isang Tita na naiiba sa mga Titang nagrorosaryong nakasabay ko.

Hindi ako ganon kaalam sa pagrorosaryo, bilang hindi ako isang Katoliko. Pero base sa mga madalas kong nakikita, wala namang hawak na bond paper ang karamihan sa kanila. Itong partikular na Titang ito, meron. At tatlong pahina pa.

Habang nagrorosaryo siya, binabasa niya ng malakas ang nakasulat sa papel. Hindi ko to marinig kasi may suot akong earphones, pero nahuhuli ko ang pakonti-konting mga salita. Base sa mga mukha ng aking mga katabi, hindi normal ang ginagawa ni Tita. 

Nakaka-aliw siyang panoorin. Hindi rin kasi siya sigurado kung tama ba yung binabasa niya. Patitigil-tigil siya sa pananalangin at madalas nagkakamot ng ulo. Makikita mo sa kunot ng noo niya na kahit siya mismo, hindi siya sigurado sa pinagdadasal niya.

"...Holy Mary, give us this day...ay?"

"To God our father, and the saint...of ano daw?'

Ayan. Ganyan ang narinig ko kay Tita. Nang bumaba siya sa may Greenbelt, di ko na lang napigilang ngumiti. 

Kaya niyo yan, Tita. Tiwala lang po.

The Breakup Diaries: UV Express Edition

Pati ba naman sa loob ng UV, may mga nasasawi.

Mag-aalasnwebe na noon. Halos mapa-head bang na ako sa sobrang pagod; gusto ko lang makapiling na yung kama ko sa bahay. Kahit gustuhin ko mang maidlip sa loob ng sasakyan, hindi ko magawa. Kasi naman yung katabi ko, nakikipag-away sa jowa niya na nasa kabilang linya.

Naalala ko sa babae yung Misis sa unang kwento, pero mas kalmado at medyo bitchesa ang dating niya. Sa tono ng boses niya, bitchesa nga ang tamang salitang maglalarawan sa kanya (paumanhin sa nasabing salita).

Habang inaaway ang kanyang boyfriend, pataas-taas ang kilay niya. Siguro, kung ano man ang pagpapaliwanag na ginagawa ng jowa niya, di niya pinapaniwalaan.

Medyo bangag na ako nung pinakikinggan ko siya (paano ko ba naman di maririnig, eh dikit na dikit kami sa isa't-isa), pero eto ang naalala ko sa kanilang pag-uusap (para sa dayalogong ito, tawagin natin ang babae bilang si Ateng B at ang jowa niya ay si Kuyang X):

Ateng B: ang tagal tagal kitang hinintay, pero di ka naman sumipot. Ganyan ka naman lagi eh, nang-iiwan. 
Kuyang X: (bulong, bulong, bulong, bulong pa more)
Ateng B: sawang-sawa na ako sa mga kalokohan mo. Tingin mo magpapaloko pa ako sayo? Sabi ni Baby wala ka daw sa bahay. Kala mo di ko alam kung sino talaga kasama mo. Wag mo nga akong pagmukhaing tanga. Utang na loob hindi ako tanga. 
Kuyang X: (bulong, bulong, malamang nagmamakaawa)
Ateng B: ayoko na, di ko na kaya to. Tagal tagal na akong nagtitiis sa'yo! Di ko na kelangan mag-explain. Ayoko na. Tapos na tayo. (sabay patay ng cellphone)

Di ko na nalaman kung ano ang sumunod na kabanata. Nakasabay ko ulit si Ateng B sa UV, pero di ko alam kung sila pa ba ni Kuyang X o tuluyan na niyang iniwan to. Nagtanong kaya si Kuyang X kung ano ang paliwanag ni Ateng B?

Aray ko 'beh

Ang Pagsusuka at ang Bayanihan of the People

Hindi naman lahat ng nasakay ng UV sanay sa pagewang-gewang na galaw ng sasakyan. Pasalamat na lang ako na nasanay na yung katawan ko sa mga biyahe buhat nang nagsimula ako sa Unibersidad. Pero tulad ng nasabi ko, hindi lahat ay sanay at ang iba sa kanila ay lasing pa.

Papunta akong Alabang nang naganap ang kwentong ito. Ang nasakyan kong UV ay yung tipong magkakaharap kayong lahat ng kapwa pasahero mo. Lahat kami halos pagod na; yung iba gusto kong isara ang bibig sa laki ng pagkanga-nga. Baka kasi pasukan ng bangaw.

Habang nilalakbay ng UV Express ang Skyway, di ko pinapansin ang mga kasama ko. Masyado kasi akong nagsesentimyento nung gabing yon sabay may My Chemical Romance pang playlist. Malamang sa malamang, hindi ako ganon ka-aware sa mga nagaganap. Nang papalapit na ang UV sa toll gate, may naamoy akong kakaiba sa loob.

Pero di ko parin pinansin.

Napansin ko na lang nang may naganap na komosyon. Napatingin ako sa may upuan malapit sa pintuan, kung saan may isang babaeng nagsusuka. Madilim pa noon sa loob ng sasakyan at nahihirapan ang babae at ang mga katabi niya sa pagtulong.

Syempre, di naman pwede na hayaan naming lahat na ganon mangyari kay Ate. Sinabihan namin yung driver na buksan yung ilaw habang nagpapasa-pasahan kami ng tissue. Yung katabi ni Ate sa kaliwa, hinahagod yung likod niya habang yung nasa kanan pinatungang ng sandamakmak na wet wipes yung pinagsukahan ni Ate.

Binuksan namin ang mga bintana para makahinga siya ng maayos. Nang mahimasmasan, paulit-ulit na humingi ng pasensya si Ate habang nililinis ang sarili niyang suka. Di naman kami nagalit sa kanya; mahirap nga naman bumiyahe ng di sanay at medyo lasing pa. Tinanong ni Ate kung pwede ba siya ibaba sa isang lugar na hindi kadalasan ruta ng UV Express.

Pumayag naman si Manong Driver. Kaya ayun, naibaba naman si Ate. Nang pababa na siya, di siya tumigil sa pagpapasalamat sa amin. Sabi nga nung Manang na katapat niya; "Aba'y magpahinga ka pagdating sa bahay ha, ineng?"

At salamat na lang ang nasabi ni Ate. Pati ako nagpasalamat kasi hindi pa talaga namamatay ang bayanihan ng mga Pilipino. #maypagasapa

Salamat, salamat sa pag-asa.

Lampungan at Sari-Saring PDA

Kung may nasasawi sa UV Express, mayroon rin namang nagsasaya sa pag-ibig. Minsan nga lang, sumosobra na sila.

Wala naman akong sama ng loob sa mga magkasintahan. Masaya ako para sa kaligayahin ninyo, pramis. Masaya ako na masaya kayo sa piling ng isa't-isa, na gusto niyong lagi kayong magkasama at magkahawak-kamay lagi. Pero utang na loob, minsan naman, kalma lang tayo sa pag-yapos at pag-halik. May mga taong nasa paligid ninyo.

May isang mag-jowa akong nakasabay sa pila na naguumapaw sa PDA (aka public display of affection). Sa pila pa lang, halos di na sila makapagpigil sa pagyapos at paghalik. Mapisa-pisa na nga yung ilong ni Kuya Boy sa kakahalik kay Ate Girl. Sinubukan ko naman na wag pansinin ang dalawa; moment nila yun, bakit ba ako nakatingin?

Pero sadyang mahirap kasi sila mismo, di makapagpigil. Halos manggigil na si Kuya sa kanyang pinakamamahal at halos sakyan na ni Ate si Kuya nang nagyakapan sila ulit. Imbes na pansinin sila, nagbasa na lang ako ng Harry Potter, pero mas lumala pa silang dalawa.

Pano ba naman, may matching verbal lambing pang nalalaman. Lalo na nang nakapasok kaming lahat sa UV Express.

Ayoko na i-detalye lahat ng naganap sa loob ng sasakyan. Sabihin na lang natin na hindi lang ako ang halos mabaliw sa pinag-gagawa nilang dalawa. Yung lolang katabi ko halos mabatukan na sila ng dala niyang walking stick, pero nagpigil siya. Nakakaawa rin yung lalaking nakatabi nila, siksik na nga sa dulo, natutulak pa.

Ganon kalala.

Inuulit ko: wala naman akong problema kung in-love kayo at gusto niyong yumakap. Pero utang na loob, kalma naman minsan. Konting restrain lang naman ang hinihingi naming mga kapwa pasahero niyo. Wag niyo namang ipamukha na masayang-masaya kayo ng sobra-sobra--maraming single ang nasasaktan.

Nakakatuwang isipin na kahit sa loob ng UV Express, marami ang nagaganap. Mula sa kwentong pag-ibig hanggang sa simpleng pagdadasal, marami akong naibabaong naratibo pag-uwi ko sa bahay. Minsan, nakakasakit ng ulo pero sa totoo lang, hindi kumpleto ang araw ko kung walang kwentong UV.

Ikaw, anong kwentong UV Express mo?

Playlist: God's Not Dead

Playlist 

*lyrics of  songs that best describe the emotional setting, current mood or whatever state the writer is in. 

Mark: You prayed and believed your whole life. Never done anything wrong. And here you are. You're the nicest person I know. I am the meanest. You have dementia. My life is perfect. Explain that to me!

Mina's Mother: Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free of trouble because he doesn't want them turning to God. Their sin is like a jail cell, except it is all nice and comfy and there doesn't seem to be any reason to leave. The door's wide open. Till one day, time runs out, and the cell door slams shut, and suddenly it's too late.

God's Not Dead

(Newsboys, God's Not Dead)

Let love explode and bring the dead to life

A love so bold

To seek a revolution somehow

Let love explode and bring the dead to life

A love so bold

To bring a revolution somehow

Now I'm lost in Your freedom

In this world I'll overcome

My God's not dead

He's surely alive

He's living on the inside

Roaring like a lion

God's not dead

He's surely alive

He's living on the inside

Roaring like a lion

Roaring, He's roaring, He's roaring like a lion

Let hope arise and make the darkness hide

My faith is dead I need resurrection somehow

Now I'm lost in Your freedom

In this world I'll overcome

My God's not dead

He's surely alive

He's living on the inside

Roaring like a lion

God's not dead

He's surely alive

He's living on the inside

Roaring like a lion

Roaring, He's roaring, He's roaring like a lion

He's roaring, He's roaring

Let heaven roar and fire fall

Come shake the ground

With the sound of revival

Let heaven roar and fire fall

Come shake the ground

With the sound of revival

Let heaven roar (Let heaven roar) and fire fall

Come shake the ground

With the sound of revival

(My God's not dead)

(He's surely alive)

He's living on the inside

Roaring like a lion

God's not dead

He's surely alive

He's living on the inside

Roaring like a lion

God's not dead

He's surely alive

He's living on the inside

Roaring like a lion

God's not dead

He's surely alive

He's living on the inside

Roaring like a lion

He's roaring, He's roaring, He's roaring like a lion

He's roaring, He's roaring, He's roaring like a lion.

Thought line: Christianity is not a religion; it's more than tradition or good works. It is more than memorizing a prayer or touching the toes of a saint. 

It is a relationship with a Father who loves unconditionally. You might think you know everything, that you are fine with your life but really, there is a gap that needs filling. 

The world continues to distort the image of God, which encourages others towards disbelief. But I ask: what have you got to lose if you let Him lead your life? If  God does not exist, then that should not be a problem. There is no heaven, no hell, no damnation, no sin, no sacrifice. 

But what if God DOES exists? Where would you be?

What have you got to lose?

Naniniwala Ka Ba Sa Forever? Understanding Why People Go Crazy Over #AlDub

Hello, my name is Ashley and I'm a fan of #AlDub.

Pabebe Wave! (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

Before anything else, I should explain myself. To be honest, I wasn't much of a Filipino love team fan. Yeah, I shipped Bobby-Angelu and Rico-Claudine during my younger days. But as I got older, I found Filipino love teams quite cheesy and too corny for my taste.

KathNiel? JaDine? DongYan? Ano yun?

While I want to support the Philippine media, I believed most Filipino stories fall for cliche story tropes. This made me believe that love teams were not worth my attention and therefore, I never found myself at the mercy of one.

Then, AlDub happened three weeks ago.

Aldub Them Very Much! (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

I found out about AlDub (a.k.a Alden/Yaya Dub) through one of my disciples during lunch. She was talking about the recent trends with today's noontime shows. While Showtime boosted ratings with a rock and roll joker, Eat Bulaga apparently was parading a new love team for their Juan for All, All for Juan segment.

I've been seeing the hashtag AlDub all over my Twitter and I've always wondered what it was. I was also sort of confused: how did Eat Bulaga managed to fit a kalyeserye segment for Juan For All, All for Juan?

So I decided to check it out.

And the rest is history.

Yaya's faceis priceless. (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

For the record, some people will not understand why most of us go crazy over Alden Richards and Yaya Dub (Maine Mendoza). They think it's shallow and corny-- "Ang baduy naman ng AlDub na yan! Ba't ka nababaliw diyan?" they ask.

Yes, it is corny and sometimes, it is baduy, as they say. So, why am I at the mercy of these two? Why do most of my friends (most of who I did not expect to like AlDub) always watch the replays every night?

I'll list down the reasons I can think of:

1) Not Your Typical Teleserye

Babala: Asawa ni Babalu (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

I think of it as a parody of all the Filipino romance stories. Kalyeserye takes a humurous approach at the typical Filipino teleserye plotlines. While it's sort of annoying, the humor injected by Yaya Dub's funny dubsmashes, Lola Nidora (Wally Bayola) and Frankie A. Arinoli's (Jose Manalo) portrayals and line exchange and Paolo Ballesteros' infectious laughter.

Let's not forget Tito, Vic, Joey and Allan K's commentaries, as well.

It's regular teleserye with an irregular approach. This makes the Kalyeserye an endearing must-watch for people who believe that forever exists.

2) Interactivity Works

'Naka 1 point ka na! Pati sa puso ko!" - Yaya Dub (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

In addition to not being your typical teleserye, Kalyeserye is very much interactive unlike other teleserye or noontime show segments. Because it's set on the streets, people can watch their performances live. 

While Yaya Dub and Alden can only see each other on split screens, the characters themselves manage to connect with potential audiences wherever and whenever. There's also something impressive with the capability of bringing the act closer to the people.

Take Alden arriving to stop the first YaKie wedding. Fans watched with anticipation as Alden raced from Broadway to where the wedding was. Another example was when Lola challenged him to run from Broadway again to Edsa within 20 minutes. This gives them more exposure to the general public, which raises awareness and therefore, more views.

3) An Interesting Mix of Characters

Kalyeserye's Selfie (Photo from the Philippipne Daily Inquirer)

KalyeSerye offers a wonderful combination of characters, each of them parodying typical characters we see in our teleseryes.

Yaya Dub reflects the typical Filipina heroine--your usual girl who started from the bottom who will somehow get over here. She's simple,sweet and can only communicate by dumbsmashing. Like any Filipina hero, she's oppressed but is loved by everyone. She serves Lola Nidora, who represents every kontrabida. 

Pabebe wave by Yaya Dub (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

While Lola cares for Yaya, she is very much against her and Alden--again, another cliche in Philippine love stories. Lola Nidora does everything she can to stop Yaya and Alden from meeting and ending up together. The reason behind this strong remains a mystery and viewers will only found out "...sa tamang panahon." 

Lola Nidora (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

Despite being the antagonist, Wally manages to portray Lola in such humor that we hate and love her at the same time. I crack up a lot whenever her bodyguards, the Rogelios, mess her plans and she criticizes them. Or whenever he does something out of the ordinary, like climbing out of a running car to escape the cops, or something like that.

Then there's Bae Alden, your knight in shinning armor and the love of Yaya Dub's life (kahit split screen lang). He's handsome and willing to overcome any task just so he can be with his Bae. Take away his girl and he will cry under the rain (I nearly died watching that scene).

YAYA DUB FOREVER (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

Alden represents the hero who shows kilig-worthy affections that would make any girl want to schedule a kwek-kwek date.

Of course, Kalyeserye offers third parties determined to break Yaya Dub and Alden's romance. There's Frankie A. Arinoli, the typical rich guy antagonist who loves modelling his branded clothing. He really loves Yaya Dub but unfortunately for him, Yaya loves only Alden and also has Trypophobia (a fear of holes), which makes him repulsive in her eyes.

Frankie and his Trypophobia-inducing face (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

Despite being a third party, Frankie also portrays that Other Guy who loves the heroine endlessly even if she doesn't, which makes him loveable in his own way. Plus, his English is funny.You have to give him that. 

Just recently, Eat Bulaga added another character to the mix and she's after Alden. Wally brings life to Duhrizz Maine, Lola Nidora's great grandchild from New York. Like the typical kontrabida girl, she's rich, flirty and determined to win Alden. Her pabebe tongue aims to overthrow Yaya's pabebe wave. 

For Pete's sake, please stop the Pabebe Tongue. (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

Sad to say, it's sort of weird and is not winning anyone any time. I mean, for real, she should stop doing it some time soon. 

4) Alden and Yaya Dub's Undeniable Chemistry

MAINEniwala na maALDEN ka niya. (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

There's no going around it: Maine and Alden share bubbling chemistry. And the mere fact that they haven't met in person yet is driving us all crazy. 

First off, let's all admit that Alden Richards is a total BAE. His be-dimpled smile is enough to knock Yaya Dub (and the rest of us) off her feet. I was never a fan of his acting but there's something in the way he dubsmashes and silently flirts with her. Even his cry face is on point, especially whenever he asks Yaya (over their fansign) when he'd see her. 

And c'mon, his pabebe wave is a killer.

That's MY Bae! (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

Yaya Dub is adorable in her own way.What I like the most about her is her sincerity and the realness that surrounds her character and personality. Maine Mendoza started as an online sensation and was given the chance to flourish on Philippine TV. When you watch her, you'd understand why.

Her ability to be beautiful and silly at the same time is amazing. It makes you wonder how she can transform from this cute Yaya to this weird-looking dubsmasher. Maine knows how to work it in front of the camera and she does so in a way that endears her to the public. The news about her other talents also makes her more loveable in our eyes.

Why so cute, Yaya Dub? (Photo fromo Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

When you put them together, Yaya and Alden manage to tickle our kilig bones to the point of no return. 

It remains a mystery if both parties are really developing actual feelings for each other, despite having intearactions on split screens only. But whatever the real score is, their TV love story is enough to make viewers wish they can have someone to share isaw with and an occasional pabebe wave here and there.

5) Simple Yet Powerful Lessons About Love

Kalyeserye wins over other noontime segments with its capability to teach simple lessons about one of the most complicated aspects in life -- LOVE.

Yaya and Alden 4EVER (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

Almost everyone's got a hugot or walang forever sentiment nowadays. This is why social media and pop culture dwells on the joys and pains of being in and out of love. Eat Bulaga uses this popular concepts and infuses them with life lessons that strike people where it hurts the most. 

One way they successfuly did so was through this moving speech from Lola Nidora:

"Ang gusto ko lang naman ay pag-ibig sa TAMANG PANAHON. Lahat ng bagay pinagtiyatiyagaan, pinaghihirapan at pinagsisikapan. Walang kahahantungan ang mga bagay na minamadali. Fan sign lang, LOVE NA? Text, text lang, KAYO NA? Ano 'to? Mas maganda ang bagay na pinagtiyatyagaan at dumarating sa tamang panahon. Tandaan niyong lahat. Masarap umibig, masarap ang inspirasyon. Huwag lang minamadali. Lahat ng bagay nasa tamang panahon."

(Translation: All I want is a love that occurs in the right time. You must work hard for everything. Anything rushed is pointless. You exchanged simple fansigns and it's love already? You texted one another and that defines your relationship? What is this?

It's much better to enjoy something you worked hard for, something that arrived at the right time. Remember this: loving is sweet and so are inspirations. Don't rush it. Everything should happen at the right time)

Lola Nidora Knows Best (Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

Lola's point hits where it hurts. Indeed, most people think love can be achieved immediately. After all, what is the sense of waiting when almost everything happens instantly?

Lola Nidora reminds viewers about the importance of working hard for something you want. As she puts it, you can't just rush love--you must work for it and wait for it to come at the right time. She reiterates this idea when she reveals her true intentions during YaKie's 2nd wedding (turns out it was a hoax; pastor's an impostor and she only forced Yaya to get married so Frankie can---oh, just watch it on your own).

She tells Frankie that love cannot be bought by money; LOVE demands to be felt and should be displayed with sincerity.

You go, Lola!

"Ang pag-ibig nararamdaman, hindi binibili!"
- Lola Nidora
(Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

And of course, watching AlDub reminds viewers of the amazing feeling of falling in love.

There's nothing better than meeting someone who instantly sends a jolt to your spine. Yaya Dub and Alden's exchanges send us into fits of kilig, while reminding us that two people meant together are destined for forever. While there will always be ups and downs, true love never says never and keeps fighting.

Even if you have to run from Broadway to EDSA, you'd willingly do it for the sake of someone you love.

Maniwala tayo sa forever!
(Photo from Eat Bulaga's Facebook Page)

I never really thought I'd be a follower of AlDub. I thought it was shallow and another money-spinner that would waste my precious time. But after watching Alden and Yaya Dub exchange their pabebe waves and see how Lola Nidora teaches us about love, I changed my mind.

Naniniwala na rin ako sa forever. *insert pabebe wave here*