Feeling Twenty Too (Hitting the Big 2-0)

I Don't Know About You...But I'm Feeling Twenty...Too.

Birthday thoughts

What does one feel when the first line of their age reaches the number 2?

I still don't know as of the moment. I'm trying to process the truth that just yesterday, I just said my goodbyes to my adolescence.

****

During a stop over after a summer retreat yesterday, I was in line at my favorite fast food restaurant (sorry McDonalds, Jollibee makes the best chicken in the world), ordering fries for my disciple. As I chilled on the counter, Cathy (a camper) leaned right next to me.

"Oh my gosh, happy birthday pala!" she said.

I smiled. My morning had already been filled with sweet greetings from friends. There was good in spending your birthday at a youth camp where all your friends and acquaintances are - you get to be greeted personally. Not just an HBD post on Facebook, a real greet. Cathy's greeting was like any of them- or so I thought.

"Thanks," I replied.

Her big eyes then somewhat cringed and a joking shocked expression was on her face.

"Oh-em girl, twenty ka na!" she exclaimed, "Twenty! Twenty ka na!"

As if once wasn't enough, Cathy had the nerve to repeat the phrase twenty ka na over and over again as we stood in line for food (I still love you, Cathy, don't worry). And as she did, I felt myself faltering each time she did. It's as if I just realized-

I AM freaking TWENTY years old.

I've lived seven years of my life with the suffix -teen attached to my age. When people would ask: "How old are you?" the answer would usually be a two-digit number beginning with a 1 and ending with random numbers from 3 to 9. I remember feeling very elated when I reached thirteen. Finally, I was a teen! Not a pre-teen but a legitimate TEENAGER!

The greetings then were filled with advices on manning up (how I wish the term womanning up existed), becoming mature, lessening the baby talk and just looking forward to the dramas of teenage years. It was something to look forward to. I've always believed that the teenage years would be the coolest and hippest years of my life. To consider yourself as a teenager meant you're part of the IN CROWD: the young, wild and free.

Looking back, being a teenager wasn't so bad. It wasn't all sunshines and rainbows, I guarantee that. But it was a roller coaster ride, bittersweet at that.

Exactly at twelve midnight two days ago, my age dropped the number 1 from the first digit line and replaced it with a big fat 2. For the first three hours of my birthday, I didn't realize that I had aged a year already. In fact, I felt the same...nothing different. But when I looked at my watch and saw it was past twelve, I knew the time had come.

Turning twenty made me realize that I've stepped into the life of being an adult. Oh, I'm not there yet but nearly. I'm still in school but by God's grace, I'll be out of it in a span of months. When I turned thirteen, people kept reminding me that it's time for me to cut my own meat and think like a teen. Now that I'm twenty, apparently it's time to stop being a teenager and start thinking like an adult.

When my friends at camp heard that I just turned twenty, all of their greetings were attached with this:

"ANG TANDA MO NA!" ("You're so old!")

Is 20 that old?

To be fair, I have been living two decades now- that's two ten years. I've witnessed numerous significant events in the Philippines and all over the world. A number of famous people have died while I lived. Numerous boy bands reached fame while I giggled wildly. Much has happened.

It was time to say goodbye to my teenage years. In reality, I'm sort of scared. I don't want to leave my adolescence behind. If possible, I want to stay secluded in my shell, protected and clueless of the harsh reality outside. But the Lord did not intend me to stay as I am, and I know I have some growing to do.

As I celebrated my special day with the best of people, my heart leaped with joy despite the little shade of fear. I saw how God has blessed me all these years through the people I am surrounded with. My journey with Him was solidified with the help of my family and friends. Being able to reach another decade was a blessing and it allowed me to realize that I can still look forward for more of Him.

I heave a sigh- a good, reminiscent one at that.

I am still confident that the Lord will guide me as I traverse this new realm we all call as adulthood. He's been there during my childhood, never abandoned me as I pursued adolescence. I'm pretty sure He'll be there during this stage till the very end. It's time for me to take life up a notch in His presence. Though life's troubles will surely level up, I know with my Lord, I can face them with no fear.

I'm quite excited to see what God has in store for the next ten years of my life. Sure, there's the unknown. I might die during those ten years but I am rest assured that whatever happens, it is His will. I look forward to the new faces and experiences, new growing pains too.

Yes, 20 is old. But I might as well enjoy it while it lasts because sooner or later, I'll be 21. Then 22. The list will go on.

So, yes Cathy, I am 20. Twenteen? Haha. Yes, that is old but still, it's a blessing.

I'm not saying goodbye to the life of merciless giggling, endless puppy love dramas, head banging and all that- I'm still bringing them with me. Although, I might have to overhaul them so as to fit this new life.

I'd like to say thank you to all who greeted me on, before and after my special day. Your greetings have made my day and I'm sorry if I wasn't able to reply. I love you all, that's for sure! I love Facebook for reminding you as well! Ha-ha! :D As for those who forgot...well...haha. You missed greeting the awesome-est person in the word! LOL. Joke. Joke lang. Humility.

Here's to another year!

Cheers!

P.S. Here's a post birthday selfie.

That looks so twenty, that's for sure. 

Last Forever? (How I Met Your Mother Finale review)

Last Forever?

A review of HIMYM's finale

Warning! Contains spoilers. Do not read if you haven't watched Last Forever Parts 1 and 2 unless you want your HIMYM experience ruined.

Kids, you remember your old Mom talking about this certain series she liked when she was young. She loved it so much, she even wrote a blog post about it. As you can see, I was very drawn to the comedy sitcom How I Met Your Mother, which follows hopeless romantic Ted Mosby and his search for love. 

Before the series finale, the show's creator Craig Thomas & Carter Bays described the ending as '...heart breakingly beautiful." I knew I wasn't alone in the anticipation, kids. My friends were all hyped up for the best ending ever. Season 9 was the longest wedding weekend and we couldn't wait for the Last Forever- the day Ted will finally meet The Mother. There was so much to look forward to: Barney & Robin's happily every after, Marshall & Lily's Rome trip and Daisy and the likes. 

But after watching the long-awaited finale, I came to this conclusion: it was heart breaking.

I'll be honest with you, kids. The Mother (Tracy McConnell, as we all find out, though not really cause there's this episode that somehow gave it out- okay, I'll stop) being dead the whole time was a letdown but quite an acceptable end for me. A friend of mine said it was inevitable. So, when I realized our worst suspicions came true, I accepted it wholeheartedly. Maybe it was for the best, maybe the creators had artistic reasons for ending it that way.

But kids, that wasn't the reason why the Finale broke my heart. There were several unexpected reasons. I'll name two:

1. ) Goodbye, Swarkles.

I cannot believe that the producers broke off the SwarKles love team. Up to this day, I still can't. You see kids, there was a drastic character development for both Robin & Barney during that time: both lone wolves who don't believe in serious commitments. The former, who was never for marriage and kids and all for success, was suddenly transformed into a woman desperately in need of a man who will assure her (she did say that when she was about to pull off a Runaway Bride stunt). The latter, who dedicated his life to scoring women and avoiding getting tied down, burned his Playbook, said some pretty serious vows and looked as if he was about to go the distance.

Swarkles (from Fanpop)

But then, the creators had to go the other direction.

Barney and Robin getting divorced will haunt me forever. They were perfect for each other, complimented the other's flaws and even transformed for the sake of their love. R.Train and B. Nasty, kids! When James got divorced, they were supposed to be the image of hope (although it went the other way around- James went back to Tom). 

The divorce brought the worse out of the two: Barney goes back to his womanizing ways while Robin leaves her friends for her career and secludes herself. Kids, most of the viewers suffered silent agony as they watched that scene. I felt terrible for Barney- his love for Robin supposedly redeemed him from his disgusting ways. 

Barney eventually found his redemption...in Ellie. Who's Ellie, you ask? Another dumb blond bombshell? Another brunette lone wolf? No kids, it wasn't another woman- it was a baby. In fact, it was Barney's baby. Yes kids, he had a kid of his own but not with Robin. He had it with girl # 31 from his perfect month streak. 

2.) Ted and Robin - The Resurrection

Kids, for the life of me, this was the twist I never expected.

Marshall & Lily having additional kids? Bearable.

Robin & Barney getting married? Lovely.

Robin & Barney getting divorced? Tolerable.

Tracy dying? Sad but acceptable.

But the possibility of Ted & Robin getting back together?

WHAT THE FUDGEMALLOWS-RAINBOW-EXPLODING-UNICORNS-COTTONS-WHATEVER-was that about? (sorry kids, you know your Mom don't cuss)

In my opinion, Ted & Robin do not work. Yes he got her the blue french horn. Yes, they were cute during the second season and had relapses during the entire series but-really? Ted and Robin are so like Ted's parents (see season 2, episode named Brunch) and look at how it ended. 

I also found it insulting when Penny says in the end that Ted's point in telling the story is, not because Ted was hopelessly in love with his deceased wife, but because he's still in love with Robin and was finding out if it was okay for them if he dated Robin.

I thought that the whole point of HIMYM was Ted's search for the woman under the yellow umbrella. I mean, the show was a burst of yellow everywhere. I was so convinced that the series was about Ted's undying love for Tracy and to hear that it was actually for Robin?

Kids, I'll be honest, I wanted to throw plates at the series writers. It was a good thing they lived on the other side of the planet. 

During those nine seasons, I got one impression from future Ted: to him, his wife was the best woman in the world. The girls he dated were nothing compared to Tracy, and that includes Robin. Sure, Tracy was Ted in girl form and that's what made them so compatible, but if you look at it, it seems as if Ted worshiped his wife. Then to find out that all this time, he was still attached to Robin?

It was a knife through the heart, kids.

I (along with other HIMYM fans/friends) had grown to love Tracy. She was the long-awaited Mother; the reason why we waited for 9 seasons. Sure, we had some hesitations about her the first time we met her during the season 8 finale but when she brandished her wit and her lovely voice (Her version of La Vie En Rose was indeed hauntingly beautiful), we came to accept that she was perfect for Ted. 

Killing Tracy was not the problem, I'll tell you that kids. In fact, it would've made the whole finale more dramatic and agonizingly beautiful. Why? Because the show's goodbye would be focused on how Ted finally found the One, despite her leaving him early...how he met the woman who made everything better. 

Ted possibly ending up with Robin is the problem. I still can't express my disgust with that. It's like the whole thing with the Mother went down the drain because of Robin. All those years of developing the characters, showing us why Ted and Robin will never work...went to waste.

What's the sense of promoting the yellow umbrella if it's trumped by the blue french horn?

If I had it my way kids, I would write it like this:

So Barney & Robin do get divorced. They do delve into their pits as Barney becomes a womanizer while Robin shuts herself off to recover. Barney does have Ellie. Robin does return. However, it would be more awesome if Barney realizes that he needs Robin (yes, I do love R & B together), that Ellie needs a mom (let's assume Ellie's mom is dead since killing mothers is not an issue in HIMYM) and he realizes that Robin will forever be the One.

You might ask: "But mom, Ted and Robin are together now, right?"

Okay, so let's assume that they do start dating. But as I've said, Ted & Robin will never work for me. Ted realizes no one can replace Tracy and Robin realizes...well Ted's still not the One. So they break it off. And Robin goes back to be with Barney and Ellie.

As for Ted? It would've been loads better if he just ended with the story, gotten all sentimental or flashed his wife's yellow umbrella one last look. 

But of course, this was not how it ended and it left numerous fans disappointed.

As terrible and unbelievable the finale was, I'll have to admit kids, it taught me something. And that something is this:

The finale reflected real life. Sure, most of us expected a fairy tale happily-ever-after ending for everyone: Marshall & Lily, Robin & Barney and Ted & Tracy. But the HIMYM ending taught us that after a bliss, there will always come storms. Life's twist and turns can ruin or change our expectations. We realize that our ending was not as happy we'd hope it to be. People change, circumstances twist and sometimes, we just don't get that ending we've always wanted. 

Sometimes, we get a different version of it. Sure, it looks terrible at first but eventually, we learn to live with it and grow to love where we are now. 

Maybe someday, I'll learn to accept the fact that my favorite series ended in another direction. But I'll forever be grateful for all the other stuff I learned from HIMYM. Of course, I'm forgetting all the nasty and downright gross sexual references the show utilizes, but I will always remember their teachings on friendship and love...how hoping for the One is never in vain.

So kids, that's the story of how How I Met Your Mother bruised my heart. I loved that series and when it ended, it sent me wishing for more (especially with that sort of ending). But alas, all good things must come to an end. 

Though I still can't reconcile myself with the finale, I will forever remember this instead:

Because for me kids, true love will never be found with a blue french horn-

It'll always be under a yellow umbrella.